It fascinates me to be a part of a global following of Jesus – who, some 2000 years ago now, prayed out loud that this global following that was coming later, would be one, the same way Jesus and his father are one.

Of course, part of official church doctrine is that Jesus exists as one member of “The Trinity” – Father – Son – Spirit, and the three are physically one, and also physically distinct. Suffice it to say that is a pretty serious definition of one-ness that Jesus was petitioning for on our behalf.

 

Unfortunately, we have failed miserably, for the most part, at becoming “one”, even in the most watered down sense of the word. We have too many factions to count. Each one of the ready to go down with the ship for their own unique version of “Gospel Truth.” I just read an article this morning about John Macarthur holding a major conference, which sole purpose was to denigrate a growing movement in “the church.”

 

Why? Because apparently John has been appointed, commissioned and blessed to be the vanguard of sacred doctrine. He would have been really effective back in the crusades – “In the name of Jesus, convert or die you pagan heathen!!” – except, it wouldn’t be pagan heathens he was talking to, it would be his own brothers and sisters in Christ.

 

The question of whether or not absolute “gospel truth” can be known and articulated is an important one; because, if the answer is no, and I believe it is, then we don’t have to worry about defending our particular brand of the faith inside “the church” and outside in “the world.” We can concentrate on – loving God, loving people, and being one, and be OK, with a little gray in the doctrinal statement.

 

What are the justifications for saying that absolute gospel truth can be known and articulated?

 

1) We are not God. Isaiah 55:8 says it best, ‘“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”’ So you are really sure that God will damn someone to eternity in hell because the were not fully submerged in a natural body of water for baptism, while repeating the official incantation? Can we really be so 100.00% sure on certain points that we are ready to bet the following Jesus farm on it? I’m not.

 

2) We lack the words to accurately express it. The German philosopher Wittgenstein is quoted as writing, “The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.” One of the ramifications of this is that you cannot use flawed language constructs to articulated something that is entirely not flawed, and not of this world. A toddler lacks the vocabulary to articulate complex constructs of anything. A two year old could never give a lecture on in depth economic theory. He lacks the language to accurately describe and convey that meaning.

 

The languages of the original texts of the bible are flawed, ambiguous, incomplete. They have been translated into flawed, incomplete, ambiguous languages like English. If you don’t believe, use BibleGateway.com to pull up the 20+ English translations of a particular verse. Every single one of them will have different words, that can be interpreted differently if you can only see the letter of the law. And rest assured, the creators of each version can defend their translation to the death, with teams of post-doctoral language experts.

 

That doesn’t mean you completely flush them, or that there are no principles, values and themes that come out of the texts that are important. It means don’t base the entire foundation of your faith on the hope that the word “rock” means petra, petros, aram or anything else, when Jesus said “on this ‘rock’ I will build my church.” Knowing for 100.00% sure what Jesus meant when he used that exact word is NOT worth dying over, not worth fighting over, and not worth building a faith-based worldview on.

 

3) We are potato heads. In Acts 11 we read, ‘But when Peter arrived back in Jerusalem, the Jewish believers criticized him.  “You entered the home of Gentiles and even ate with them!” they said.’ So maybe a couple years tops, after Jesus dies and was raised from the dead, his followers align themselves with the Pharisees who used to rail on jesus for eating with “sinners.”

 

That is what we do. We are all so forgetful when it comes to speaking for Jesus. Is that Sabbath a day for doing good or for doing evil? We should stone Jesus, the author of life, the creator, living expression and embodiment of doctrinal truth, because he chooses to heal someone on the Sabbath, and that is a violation of the law? Really?

We gotta chill out. We align ourselves with the Pharisees and those who rejected Jesus, on a regular basis, and we do it in his name. That is incredibly stupid. Let’s just all admit that we should not be sacrificing those who Jesus loves more than anything, who Jesus died for so they might live, on the altar of our holier than thou church doctrine. Let our internal oneness and love so overflow and reflect that of Jesus’ character, that the world cannot help but stand up and take note – these must surely be his followers.

I am fortunate to spend a great deal of time with high school and college students, and in that context, the topic of calling comes up quite often. For those of you not familiar with the Christian-ese that word is referring to, the common definition of calling is the one thing that God has ordained that you do with your life. Despite the fact that if you do not find out what it is, your life will be wasted, God is normally not very clear about it. You typically have to embark on an exhausting quest to figure it out, and, will likely make several wrong turns before finding it.

 

Additionally, most high profile people have found their calling – TV stars, movie stars, senior pastors of large churches, doctors, lawyers, etc. It is common for most people to feel like they are among the only ones still suffering in the purgatory of not knowing their calling. Most everyone else already knows it, and is completely fulfilled almost every waking moment of their life. The good news is that once you find IT, you will enjoy whatever IT is, every day, day in and day out, with no regrets, and non-stop mountain-top experiences.

 

Of course, I am exaggerating a little, but you would be surprised at how many followers of Jesus have some or all of those notions burned into the heads. I will go on record now and state that I completely reject that definition of calling that I laid out above. Furthermore, I believe that definition has caused a great deal of damage, and has led many people on wild-goose chases, to episodes of guilty depression, to feeling miserable and unconnected or even forsaken by God.

 

Let’s get back to those high school and college kids. “Where does God want me to go to college?” “What does God want my major to be?” “What does God want me to do with my life?” There is so much angst, fear, regret, major-changing, college-changing, college-dropping-out, all sacrifices on the altar of “calling.”

 

I have met so many church-going adults who are just miserable since they have not found their true calling. How do they know they have not found it? First, because they do not like what they are currently doing with their lives. If they had found their calling, they would be happy with their daily activities most, if not all of the time. The fact that they have some miserable days, boring days, etc., is a clear indicator that they are not there yet.

 

Second, their current occupation does not sound very spiritual. For the more aspiring, and perhaps a little prideful follower of Jesus, the holy grail of callings is to hold a spotlight position in a spiritual context, like a large mega-church. Worship leader, musician, speaking/writing senior pastor, etc. If they were giving The Message to 100s or 1000s of people every week, if they were speaking at conferences and seminars, writing books, etc., then they would really be doing God’s work.

 

Those followers that have a less grandiose vision of themselves, may yearn to be a children’s pastor, small groups pastor, or to take on some behind the scenes type role at a church. Or, some see being in a job that helps people like a non-profit/outreach ministry, missionary, nurse, teacher, etc. to be a more spiritual calling than others.

 

Not only do people get very frustrated and depressed seeking their one true calling, but it can lead to resentment, envy and even all-out jealousy of those they perceive that have found their calling, love what they do, and are fulfilled and happy every day. God has clearly afflicted them in a calling-less fog, or worse yet, called them to an occupation that makes them a second or third-class citizen of the kingdom.

 

Of course, while the Church as a whole is somewhat to blame for this misguided notion of calling, I believe that most of the blame rests squarely on the shoulders of Curly from the movie City Slickers. His one thing speech has sent more people on misguided questions for their one true calling than any individual church pastor.

 

Fortunately, there is a better way to think about callings. Here goes: you do not have one calling, you have many callings, most of which, come and go at various times in your life. However, the most important callings are not abstract and elusive, they can and should be very well known to everyone following Jesus. The definition I have come up with after years of dealing with this issue consists of three “callings” defined in order of priority as follows:

 

• Primary (first) Calling – Love God with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself – every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day of your life.

• Secondary (second) Callings – These are non-vocational roles you may have, some for life, and others for a season. These may include parent, spouse, son or daughter, uncle/aunt, etc. These secondary priorities are always superseded by the primary, and always, and I mean always, take precedent of the last type of calling. These typically start and end at very specific times, in very formal ways.

• Tertiary (third) Callings – These are the last, least important, and lowest priority callings. These are vocationally related callings. If you are a student, they would be the school you go to, what you are studying, etc. If you are an adult, these would be your, current, primary occupation, hobbies, ministry associations, volunteer activities, etc. These callings can change quite a bit as you go through your life, sometimes on a regular basis, sometimes very often.

 

If you have spent much time in a church environment, you may quickly notice that the order I have presented is typically reversed from what you may hear from the stage at most churches, or, at least how the masses interpret what they hear from stage.

 

How many people do you know that have sacrificed their kid, their spouse, their families, etc., on the altar of tertiary (third) callings? And, for the most part, they feel justified in doing it; especially if it is a spiritually sounding vocation. How many followers of Jesus have you known that are just unfriendly, nasty, harsh, over-driven, etc? In their own defense they will say something to the effect of, “God hasn’t gifted me with niceness. He gifted me to be a hard-driving blah-blah-blah.” ”I haven’t been called to (fill in the blank with a seemingly unimportant, loving/compassionate type activity)” “I have been called to leadership, I have no time for (fill in the blank with a serving/humble activity)”

 

I know you have heard those things being said, and have maybe even said them yourself at times. The truth is, if you get the primary (first) calling right, and the secondary (second) calling(s) you have been blessed with right, the tertiary (third) callings, gulp, I almost hate to say it out loud, really don’t matter that much.

 

“What do you mean?!?! My pastor, or my doctor or this missionary – what they do for God is super important! They were called!” I would beg to differ. In fact, a pastor, doctor, teacher, singer, musician or missionary who doesn’t have the primary (first) and secondary (second) callings right, is doing more damage in their tertiary (third) callings than good; and, God may not really want them in any kind of relational position until they get the first two calling types right.

 

On the flip-side, if you are deeply in love with, and a close follower of Jesus, and you put the proper priority on your secondary (second) callings, you will naturally be attractive and will wield tremendous influence in the lives of those you are close to, regardless of what your 9-5 vocation, or your discretionary time activities of service, volunteerism and fun. You will be reflective of Jesus in whatever it is you are doing, and thereby, fulfilling your greatest calling.

So, stop worrying about where you are going to go to college, or sulking because you didn’t get a call-back after your recent audition for The Voice, even though you know God has called you to perform in front of millions. Seek first to love God with you whole being, and love everyone within your sphere of influence as much, or more than you love yourself. Secondly, be the best parent, spouse, son, daughter, uncle, aunt, neighbor, co-worker, team-mate, school-mate that you can possibly be. Serve, love, put their needs before your own. If you do that, whatever your current vocation is, WILL ALREADY BE one of your (tertiary/third) callings, because in whatever it is you are doing, you will be reflecting Jesus to those you come in contact with.

I was afflicted with a severe stuttering problem somewhere around 7 years old and I have had to deal with it ever since – to this present day. While the problem is manageable after I get to know people, it is very severe, and quite unmanageable in any and all first time conversation scenarios. For people who know me well, it is hard to appreciate the amount of pain and suffering I have endured in various scenarios over the years.

 

Imagine a teacher in jr high or high school doing roll call, and asking me if I go by Robert, Bob or Rob, and, as a first impression, either stuttering on Bob so long that I just stop talking, or, saying nothing, or, holding up a piece of paper with the word “Bob” written on it. You want to talk about feeling like, and looking like a freak in jr high/high school? Let’s just say those weren’t my best years.

 

I had always wanted to be a medical doctor growing up, and after finishing the requirements for pre-med in my undergrad studies, and taking the MCAT, I was granted an interview at a University of Illinois Medical School. The dean of the school sat me down across from him at his desk, and asked me, “What makes you think that you can make it as a doctor, nonetheless make it through medical school with such a severe stuttering problem?” Remember, in first impression scenarios, like introductions, interviews, etc., it is way, way worse. I defended my position, and had outstanding grades and MCAT scores, so, “against his better judgment” I was accepted to medical school.

 

I remember being placed in a study group, and I remember worrying about that first meeting, going around the table and having to introduce myself. When it came around to me I tried to get something out, and just couldn’t. One of the more arrogant guys started laughing and saying, “Can you speak? Maybe he can’t talk?” I quickly pulled out a notebook, wrote my name, and for some reason, it took them like 60 seconds to finally read it. “I think it says, Bill, no…Beth (ha ha ha) no, Bob! It’s Bob right?!?” I was never able to recover from that. Without a source of community I quickly became disengaged and lost.  As the dean suspected, I withdrew after that first semester.

 

Luckily, I had a degree in Electrical Engineering so I was able to get a good job. Went to my first day on the job. Secretary asked me, “Who are you?” I had great difficulty saying my name. “Did you forget who you are?? Ha ha ha?” They had run out of space, so they put me in the office of a guy who had been their 25 years. This was the old days so, old fashioned phone, no answering machine. They instructed me to answer the phone and take notes. We answer the phone here by saying our first and last name, and then “How may I help you?” Yikes. Bad luck. Since he was a 25 year veteran of the company, his phone rang about every 10 minutes. Double bad luck. I tried my best to answer the phone.

 

I tried all the tricks, even tried getting a tape recorder and recording myself saying, “Bob Clinkert. How can I help you?” None of that worked, and only made the people on the other end really, really angry to talk to me. I was really afraid that I would get fired for screwing it up, so, after a while I crafted a new plan – when the phone would ring, I would immediately get up and go to the bathroom. So, about 6 times an hour, I would be in the bathroom. What kind of first impression do you think that made?

 

On the daily train ride to the city and back, I would invariably get asked where I worked. I couldn’t say the name of the company without stuttering so I would say “AT&T.” Every now and then, the guy who asked me would say, “Wow. I work there too. What group?” I would have to sheepishly tell the story about my stuttering problem, and the whole company name thing, etc. Ultimately I would have to write out the company name, or play charades with the sound bites I was able to get out. It seems funny in retrospect, but when trying to garner respect, not so funny.

 

Imagine going out to eat and rarely being able to get what you wanted? Ordering at a restaurant is one of the most stressful situations for a person with a stuttering problem. “I’ll have what he/she ordered.” Yuck!! The guy/gal ordering before me almost always got something I didn’t like. I was really in trouble if the wait person asked me what I wanted first.

 

I had many job interviews cut short. I have embarrassed the heck out of many bosses, and out of myself in front of many customers. I would always show up late for meetings, so I would miss the “going around the table and introducing yourself” part. I remember being in the bathroom at a nice restaurant once and my boss, the customer and me ended up all washing our hands together. The customer asked me where I lived, and I started stuttering super hard on the N in Naperville. I was watching my boss, who turned super red and I thought his head was going to explode. He finally blurted out, “Naperville! Bob lives in Naperville!” So, the management was always terrified to put me in front of the customer; but, I have typically been in key roles, and they would often times have no choice, leading to even higher pressure speaking situations.

 

Now that I am a business owner, imagine me going to networking meetings. Let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves, our companies and give our 30 second elevator pitch. You want to lose credibility immediately in those scenarios? Fumble saying your name, your company name, and what you do during a round-the-table introduction.

 

So I have spend almost my whole life being judged by an external, physical trait that I was born with. I have been thought less of in so many scenarios, and I have been held back from being able to fully utilize the gifts and talents inside of me. It has been very frustrating and often times very self-defeating and depressing.

 

One of the main ways that God has worked this together for good in my life, is that I know how it feels to be judged unfairly because of a physical characteristic that I was born with. I know what it feels like to be frustrated, and desperately want people to judge me by what is on the inside of me, rather than what they can see on the outside.

 

I have a great deal of empathy for people who are judged, misunderstood, and are trapped working well beneath their potential because of the judgment of people. If compassion means “to suffer with”, God has enabled me to have great compassion for the marginalized through my life experiences with my stuttering affliction.

 

In 2005, I was introduced to an outreach to street kids in the Philippines. My wife and I love kids and quickly became involved. In 2006, I had the opportunity to go on several outreach trips. My “gift” of compassion, and empathy for the marginalized really kicked into high gear getting to know these street kids. Almost immediately I began to develop a “holy discontent” related to poverty, abuse, lack of opportunity, waste of human resources, etc. This discontent led me to a great deal of study on the issues surrounding poverty, cause, effect and how to fix it.

 

I typically attract the marginalized and disadvantaged kids in the jr. high and high school groups I have had the privilege of leading over the years. I know what it is like to be marginalized and thought less of as an employee in the workplace. That compassion and empathy allows me to be a champion for the worker, and to bring creativity and resources to bear on creating empowering, workplace environments that unleash the masterpiece created inside every employee in a company. This not only creates nice warm and fuzzies, but also unleashes innovation throughout an entire organization, which, typically results in substantial competitive advantage and success in the marketplace.

I would happily give up my stuttering problem any time, but, I am grateful for the compassion and empathy it has created in me. It has helped shape many of the things that are good about me, who I am and who I am becoming.

I don’t think many younger people are familiar with the expression, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” The expression means that the older you get, the more difficult it is to change, and you eventually reach a point of no return where you can’t change. It has certainly been a widely held belief for as long as I can remember. No one wants a sex offender living next door because deep down inside we all believe you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

 As a followers of Jesus, I believe we are charged with working to establish God’s kingdom here on earth. A big part of the is working for social justice, empowering the poor, removing barriers and obstacles from everyone living out the masterpiece that God created them to be. If I had to chose one word to describe this kingdom work it would be the word change. Working to establish God’s kingdom here on earth requires a boatload of change.

 I have had an opportunity to see some pretty remarkable changes over the years in myself, those close to me, and even those far away, on the other side of the world in the Philippines. The outreach organization in the Philippines that I have been blessed to know have been significant agents of change. The work they do with children who live on the streets is near and dear to my heart. Over the last eight years now I have been able to see so many kids come out of a dark, abusive, masterpiece-destroying place and into a place of love, peace, encouragement, learning and growth.

Some of the kids who are part of the Face the Children program have finished high school, and have begun to live as adults in their world. My family, along with many other sponsors have invested in many of these kids and have even offered them the opportunity to attend college and position themselves to be successful contributors to society and making the world a better place.

 A few of these young adults, including one that was very close to me and my family, chose to walk away from that opportunity. Our dreams for their lives were never their dreams. They were unable or unwilling to embrace a different view of their lives. They were seemingly unable to make the changes necessary to move from self-destructive behaviors into self-empowering behaviors. One of my acquaintances in the Philippines was discussing a particular fall from grace back into an old lifestyle with a passage from the bible As a dog returns to its vomit – meaning, that some people  are not going to be able to change. I don’t think he meant anything personal by it but it really offended me and made my angry.

 I want to believe and experience people changing, every day. I want to continue to believe and encourage those who have failed, and believe that those are only temporary setbacks. I want to believe that patterns of abuse, abandonment, neglect, poor self image and low self esteem can be replace with patterns of healthy self-awareness, love, tenacity, hope and a desire to give back. At the same time, I am a realist. I believe that reality is always your friend. I don’t want to just believe it, I want to be able to know whether or not significant change is really possible in everyone. I want some scientific proof that the old adage was wrong, and you can teach every old dog new tricks.

Well, I came across this article the other day about change, neuroscience, and corporate change initiatives in business. Strategy Business Article. This is a fascinating article that relates how neuroscience confirms that all of us have the ability to change even the most entrenched negative patterns in our lives, and can do it without expensive psychotherapy or mind-altering drugs. My brief summary of the article is:

• Habits are hard to change because of the way the brain manages them.

Many conventional patterns of thinking are held in circuits associated with deep, primal parts of the brain that evolved relatively early. These include the basal ganglia, the amygdala and the hypothalamus. Information that is processed in these parts of the brain is often not brought to conscious attention. If you want to create permanent new patterns of behavior, you must embed them in these areas of the brain. Taking on new patterns often feels unfamiliar and painful, because it means consciously overriding deeply comfortable neuronal circuitry.

• Despite the seeming inflexibility of the brain, neural connections are highly plastic; even the most entrenched thought patterns can be changed.

 The kind of mindfulness that accomplishes this combines metacognition (thinking about what you are thinking) and meta-awareness (moment-by-moment awareness of where your attention is focused).

• Paying attention to new ways of thinking, however uncomfortable at first, can rewire people’s thinking habits.

 The name given by neuroscience to this phenomenon is attention density. When a person repeatedly pays conscious attention to desired thoughts and related goals, the processing of these thoughts and goals stabilizes and moves to the part of the basal ganglia called the caudate nucleus, which lies deep beneath the prefrontal cortex and processes a massive number of neural signals from it. 

MIT neuroscientist Ann Graybiel has referred to the basal ganglia caudate nucleus complex as the habit center of the brain. It shifts circuits into place so that ways of thinking and acting that at first seemed unfamiliar soon become habitual. The power of focused attention is enhanced further by the quantum Zeno effect: just as quantum particles become more stable when observed, neuronal patterns solidify more rapidly when repetitive attention is paid to them.

I am not sure I understand exactly what all of that means except to say that it is pretty freakin cool. It means that if you want to change, you can change; and you can change anything, even the most entrenched bad habits and negative patterns of behavior. That’s great news! Great news for followers of Jesus. Great news for people who want to work for social justice, freeing slaves, lifting people out of poverty and enabling people to be the best they can possibly be.

Reminds me of something that the apostle Paul said in Romans 12:2 – “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Sounds like the first century summary of the above cutting edge research. From another angle, Paul was saying, yes, indeed, you can teach an old dog new tricks, all day every day. Paul knew significant life change is possible. God knows it’s possible, because he created us with the capability for significant life change already inside of us. Yes!!

The last decade or so of my life has been spent, at the highest levels, wrestling with Ephesians 2:10 – For we are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

The most difficult part of this ongoing journey has been believing that about myself, and those closest to me – believing it to the degree and extent that it results in action that is uniquely aligned with that belief. Over the years I have tried to develop this belief in friends and acquaintances as well.

One of the books I am reading defines trust as believing the best about someone. So this idea of earning trust doesn’t apply in the author’s definition. Initially, I bristled at this definition of trust. Trust has always been about a process of earning – in any contexts I have experienced it.

As is often the case with me, I decided the author was wrong on this point, and just moved on. As I continued to let that thought simmer in the back of my mind, I have been part of a Boundaries with Teens small group study. This small group study has been my first formal study of boundaries and I find that I am resonating deeply with the concept at many levels.

I have come to realize in the last few days that perhaps trust is closely related and tied to boundaries. I want to believe the best about people. My life goes better when I do – I sleep better, think better, talk better, act better and influence better. However, when someone fails to live up to what I believe is the best for them, what then? Should I stop believing the best about them? I hope not. That would put me back in the pit, and greatly reduce the potential for that person, whom I lost trust in – stopped believing the best about – to get better; to more fully live in the masterpiece that they have been created to be.

On the flip-side, we can’t allow negative behaviors to continue to get worse. We also do not want to lose ourselves in the process of believing the best about someone else. It is precisely at this point, that I believe boundaries come into play.  Boundaries can be based on current actions. Boundaries can be earned. Boundaries can be adjusted based on performance and history. Boundaries can be adjusted based on success and future performance.

If I allow boundaries to protect both the individual I believe the best about, and myself, I can now continue to believe the best in someone, even throughout periods of minor or major failure; and, at the same time, still maintain integrity integrity in the process of growth for them and for me. A specific example might go something like this. If your child has a history of drinking, and gets a DUI, at that point in their lives, they really need people, especially their parents, to believe the best about them; to see them moving past this current rough spot in their lives, putting it behind them, and becoming the masterpiece that God created them to be.

At the same time, you cannot allow them to continue to spiral down in a pattern of self-destruction. That is where the boundaries come in. When there is failure in living up to the best that is believed about you, the boundaries need to be tightened up. How tight, for how long, and what the criteria are for loosening the boundaries, are all based on the severity and frequency of the particular failure. Boundaries can be relaxed as new behaviors and patterns begin to replace old, destructive patterns. Throughout that whole process, you can continue to believe the best about your child, and speak the best into their lives.

I think that method of modulating trust and boundaries to maximize the masterpiece someone was created to be works not only for our own children, but for every other relationship in our lives – from very close, to casual acquaintances. Boundaries help ensure that the person actually becomes the best you believe about them; and, those same boundaries empower you to continue to develop your own masterpiece as well.

What do you think? How has the issue of trust, and believing the best about people, played out in your experience?