People always talk about how great leaders face their fears and overcome. While that is true, I believe there is one thing that is even more difficult for any great leader – or anyone for that matter to do – and that is to face their shame. To face their shame after they have personally failed in character – in the moment. There was a moment after the Cavs had won the championship last night, where one player – Draymond Green from Golden State – had the courage to face his shame.

Last night LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers became the first team in NBA history to come back from a 3-1 finals deficit and win the championship – against the Golden State Warriors who had just come off the best regular season in history, with the first unanimous season MVP – Steph Curry.

Golden State lost their composure in the last few games of the series, and Draymond Green kind of led the way in that loss of composure, leading to his suspension in game five. In fact, it was likely Green’s taunting of LeBron James that help light the competitive fire in James to do what had never been done before – coming back from a three games to one deficit.

Draymond took some cheap shots – both physically and verbally – at LeBron James throughout the series. I believe that James intentionally taunted Draymond throughout the series to try to make him lose his cool. But, at the end of the day, you are responsible for your own actions, and Draymond was responsible for his.

I remember when the Chicago Bulls finally defeated their arch-nemesis – the Detroit Pistons – to advance to the finals many years ago. Isaiah Thomas and his band of sore-losers checked out of the game with a few seconds left and went to the locker room so they didn’t have to congratulate the Bulls and watch them celebrate. To me, and to many others, that really tarnished Isaiah Thomas’ legacy, and is probably a demon that has haunted him ever since. A brief moment of character deficiency in the heat of battle – that could never be fully atoned for later.

The same moment came to Draymond Green last night. After losing the championship, Green went back to the locker room and had an opportunity to think. He heard that small voice inside of him – urging him to do the right thing. Urging him to face his shame, swallow his pride, and go back out there and congratulate LeBron. I am sure, in that moment, it was a real struggle. Fortunately for Draymond, he overcame his shame, swallowed his pride, worked his way through the pandemonium with purpose, found LeBron, gave him and big bro hug and congratulated him. Here is what Draymond had to say later about that moment:

“Like I said, I hate to lose, but you learn something from everything. I take pride in being a high-character guy, and to just leave the floor like I did, I wouldn’t have been able to — I wouldn’t have felt right about myself for a long time if I didn’t go back out there and congratulate those guys on what they accomplished. So, once I sat down for a minute, I knew that the right thing to do was to go out there and congratulate them on a great season, great series, and on winning the ring.”

Kudos to you Draymond for doing the right thing. While I am not a great professional athlete, I know all about being in a position where I need to decide if I am going to face my shame or not. They do not come in the heat of NBA championship battle – but in battles on a much smaller stage – with my wife, my kids, my coworkers, the baseball teams I coach.

I am very competitive and very type A. In the heat of the moment, I have a tendency to say things I shouldn’t say – and will later regret. I know what it’s like to hear that still small voice inside of me, urging me to get up and go make it right. It’s difficult. I am so disappointed that I failed – once again – that I want to run, hide, and hope it just goes away. It takes an enormous amount of personal courage to swallow my pride and face those moments after I blow it.

They are normally not huge, newsworthy, life-altering character deficiencies. Usually they are just related to the things I say in the heat of the moment, the way I treat people, the way I carry myself. Usually only for very short periods of time as well. Because I am normally able to control myself, I can sometimes try to excuse my harsh behavior in heated moments. I am under a lot of pressure at times. Everyone loses it every now and then.

Fortunately for me, I have some friends and people close to me who can encourage me to be the best I can be – which at times means facing my shame. Just recently I was in an urgent situation at work for a couple weeks requiring long hours, high stress, and lots of close personal interactions. I did better than I usually do, but I had several moments of not being who I want to be. I allowed myself to succumb to the heat of the moment several times when I should have been able to fight through it.

God’s small voice is always there to encourage me to own it, make it right, and find a way to do better in the future. I took the time to share my issues with a few close friends and mentors in my life. I also took the time to own up to it to the people who were directly affected by my loss of cool in the moment.

Those situations are always very uncomfortable for me – but afterwards, I always know it was the right thing to do. I wish I could say that I have always, in every situation, had the courage to face my shame – but I can’t. I have missed many opportunities in the past, and probably will in the future. But, each time, it is becoming a little easier to do. Each time I do it, I am more likely to face my shame again, and less likely to put myself in the position where I need to face my shame in the first place. Progress not perfection.

I am grateful that Draymond was able to face his shame on a national stage. I suspect he will look back at that moment, as a defining moment for him, professionally and personally. Draymond might have lost the basketball game – and a basketball national title – but he won his character back. Over the next 50 years or more of life he has left, I bet that will prove to be most valuable.

My wife Vicky and I just became grandparents for the first time! Our oldest son Bobby’s wife Sarah gave birth to our grandson, Benjamin Thomas, more than 6 weeks early, on May 22. We couldn’t be more thrilled to be grandparents. It’s been a dream of ours for many years now.

I wanted to share a few reflections on the experience so far.

1) Being a grandparent is different than being a parent

Grandparenting is a completely different perspective. It’s difficult to explain the feelings involved, but I know they are different. I am different having raised kids of my own. I have much more experience, wisdom and a completely different set of filters for reality.

I don’t think it is any better or worse – just different. I am much less nervous, less worried, more excited for the bigger picture and more attentive and treasuring of each and every small detail.

Since little Ben was born a little more than six weeks early, he faces some serious challenges in preparing to breathe on his own, eat on his own, and be ready to come home. That’s a big, emotional difficulty for his parents, Bobby and Sarah. They are very private people, but I know it is weighing heavily on them.

While I do not want to downplay the seriousness of the situation, I am filled with a great deal of hope. I see little Ben as a strong little fighter, who is going to make it home as a happy, healthy infant – probably slower than any of us want – but I believe he is going to make it and thrive. It’s a perspective that is powered from a different vantage point.

His parents are in a much more difficult and emotional position. It is their first baby. They want to hold him, love him, bring him home. They don’t want to have any issues with his breathing, heart or his ability to eat, process food, and fully utilize his little diapers. It is difficult as a parent of your first baby to have to deal with potentially serious complications.

As, a grandparent, for whatever reason, I am just filled with hope, love, trust and awe. While my heart goes out to Bobby and Sarah, I trust them as parents, I trust the hospital, doctors and nursing staff, and I do not have that minute-to-minute, present unknown to deal with like they do. I get to see things a little more removed. I am thankful for that and I am thankful that I can bring that perspective to the situation.

2) Seeing your own kids grow up is awesome, confusing and weird

Seeing your baby grow up, become an adult, get married, and have his own baby is a mind-blowing experience which causes a great deal of introspection and reflection in my mind and heart

I am completely in awe of the whole parenting process from start to transition into adulthood. Each stage of that process has been new, exciting, gut-wrenching and difficult. Each successive stage is more challenging, and has more at stake than the next.

It is almost like you are in a continual process of being groomed as a parent for what is coming next. The entirety of the process of adolescence, jr high, high school, college, moving on from college, etc., is pretty amazing to look back on in hindsight. I can appreciate much more of it in hindsight, than I could when I was going through it in real-time.

I have discovered that our kids are both profoundly influenced by us as parents, and at the same time, relentlessly independent and creators of their own self and personalities. It’s both at the same time – and in different proportions and different times in different scenarios.

I can see reflections of the strengths and weaknesses of me and my wife in our kids, and at the same time, I see the way they have become their own unique, awesome individuals, with their own set of strengths and weaknesses that are independent of mom and dad. It’s like watching a  beautiful, harmonious set of music and dance unfold before you that is flawlessly executed by people who are less than flawless for sure.

The funny thing for parents is, it’s never over. You never stop being a parent – but your role changes for sure. While it is bittersweet, it is good to move on, for everyone, and I look forward to the next stages. Each one will have many new opportunities to be cherished.

I am incredibly proud of Bobby and Sarah, and I love who both of them are, and I look forward to seeing them parent our little grandbaby!

2) You can fall quickly and completely in love with kids who are not your own

Wow. I love kids. I always have. But, it is still amazing how quickly and completely I have fallen in love with this little guy that I have barely been able to touch or spend time with. He is already tied to my heart in a deep and meaningful way, and those feelings will only grow stronger every day.

I am reminded of the importance of mentoring, coaching, role-modelling and coming alongside kids that are not your biological children, but are in a unique and special position in the sphere of your life.

Vicky and I have had the opportunity to adopt our good friend Julie’s three children after she passed away from cancer in 2011. We feel blessed that Julie knew that we had fallen in love with her kids. In the midst of that tragic situation of devastating loss, Julie was able to have confidence that there were people who would love and care for her children if she was not able to. That is a wonderful gift to give to someone – and her children have been a wonderful gift to us.

While I do not understand the process, I know first hand that you can fall in love with children who are not your biological kids. Sometimes, it is in dramatic ways like adopting children into your home – but most of the time, it is in smaller, more incremental ways. We all can and should play smaller roles in investing in someone’s kids.

This investment can come in many shapes and sizes, and being connected to a faith community makes it that much easier to get connected to those opportunities. It will not be easy – there is always a cost involved – but, in the grand scheme of things, it is well worth it – and there are plenty of rewards to go around. Some you will receive right away, some down the road, and some rewards you will never have the privilege of seeing – at least not in this lifetime.

The responsibility for investing in others’ kids, like biological parenting, does not end at a certain age. We will always have roles to play in the lives of the biological children of others.

At the same time, Vicky and I have been incredibly blessed as parents to have so many other people who have loved on our kids, and continue to love on them.

4) Having resources is a huge advantage

The neonatal intensive care unit and Edward hospital in Naperville is amazing. The level of competence in the care is amazing. The seamlessness of the process is amazing. The vehicles of care are in a constant state of flux and change based on the current demands of little Ben’s physical condition and how he is responding to current treatment. I have full confidence that Ben is in the best place he can possibly be in right now – and that is an enormous blessing and relief.

So many people, here in the US and in other countries, do not have access to this level of care. Without getting into the politics of it, I can tell you that my heart aches to know that if Bobby and Sarah happened to be in a different part of the world, or raised in a different socioeconomic environment, that their little guy would have a significantly reduced chance of getting healthy and whole.

I am both thankful for our opportunities and also motivated to advocate on behalf of those who do not enjoy such privilege.

5) It’s easy to forget the preciousness of life

There were half-a-dozen, highly trained health professionals attending to little Ben before he even came out into the world. Immediately after being born, he was whisked away into a state-of-the-art neonatal intensive care unit where he continues to be under the care of dozens of dedicated, professionally trained staff around the clock.

The quality of his life is of the utmost, preeminent concern of everyone on staff. Through this, they are conferring and communicating a huge amount of value and worth on this little four and a half pound bundle of joy.

In stark contrast, so many people who have a few years on little Ben, are treated with very little dignity, worth and value. Some more be may deserving of that than others, but no one in that neonatal intensive care unit is even thinking about how those kids in there may turn out, who their parents are, what their family situations are, etc. None of that matters.

The value of those little lives matter – no judgment – just love, care and concern.

I want to be able to see older kids and adults the same way the neonatal professionals see those little premature babies. Every single adult I come across in my day-to-day life was – or should have been – a prized, valued little baby – my precious than anything else in the world.

Getting older, and maybe less cute over time, should not affect our innate worth and value as individuals – but it all too often does. From my perspective as grandpa, I want to see cure, lovable little guy or gal inside of every adult I interact with – whether they are friendly or angry, like me or not like me at all, and everywhere in between.

Wrappin’ it up

So those are my thoughts on day three of grandparenting – thanks for listening!

Vicky and I are jazzed out of our minds with our new little grandson, Ben, and we can’t wait to have him home and healthy.

He has lots of Cubs, Bears and Blackhawks gear awaiting his arrival at home!

Love you Ben!!

If you are breathing, have a pulse, and are engaging the world around you at all, it should be clear that we are living in very divisive, polarizing times. Almost every issue, event, leader have people drawing up battle lines, with everyone split between the “two sides.” of whatever is being discussed.

Very rarely are people willing to give any ground on any points of disagreement. You typically are either for us or against us, and there is little middle ground. The truth is the truth. And you either have it or you don’t.

I recently re-read a story told of Jesus that reminded me of this issue. Whether you consider yourself a follower of Jesus in the spiritual sense or not, most of the world believes that a person named Jesus lived about 2,000 years ago and that he was a very wise, spiritual teacher.

In this particular story, a question comes to Jesus from a religion scholar at the time, which one of the commandments is the most important? Please read the short story as told by “The Message” translation of the bible, from Mark 12:28-34 – 

One of the religion scholars came up. Hearing the lively exchanges of question and answer and seeing how sharp Jesus was in his answers, he put in his question: “Which is most important of all the commandments?”

Jesus said, “The first in importance is, ‘Listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one; so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.’ And here is the second: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ There is no other commandment that ranks with these.”

The religion scholar said, “A wonderful answer, Teacher! So lucid and accurate—that God is one and there is no other. And loving him with all passion and intelligence and energy, and loving others as well as you love yourself. Why, that’s better than all offerings and sacrifices put together!”

When Jesus realized how insightful he was, he said, “You’re almost there, right on the border of God’s kingdom.”

Right off the bat, I realize that the initial question was flawed. When the religion scholar asked, which ONE of the commandments is most important, that question assumed that there is, actually only ONE that is most important. Jesus, did not answer the specific question that was asked – because it was a question formulated with an assumption about what the answer would be.

Jesus, as he often did, re-framed the question, and answered the real question, behind the original question – the unbiased version of the original question. Jesus shares not one, but two commandments. As I read the story more closely, I have come to realize that Jesus is actually setting up a TENSION as it were, between not two, but actually three specific areas.

When Jesus admonishes us to love others as well as we love ourselves, it is safe to assume that Jesus desires for us to love others well. The implication there is, that we need to love ourselves well.

Of course, if we are to love God with all of our passion, energy, etc., we would have none left for others or ourselves. I believe that Jesus is intentionally setting up this tension. He is asking us to make three distinctly different things the MAIN thing – which is – impossible in the most pragmatic sense of the word.

We could think of it as creating a static balance between the three. I am to focus on God ⅓ of the day, others ⅓ of the day, and myself, ⅓ of the day. While that is simple, and I wish it were that easy, the truth is, life is more complicated than that.

We all go through times where, we really need to focus in on ourselves so we don’t completely fall apart. Other times our family or friends – the “others” – in our lives require our full and undivided attention. Other times we need an intentional extended, undivided spiritual connection with our maker.

So the optimal balance in the tension between those three is much more likely a DYNAMIC balance, rather than a static balance. The ides of dynamic balance can be understood as a surfer riding a large wave. During the ride, the surfer has to keep herself in dynamic balance. She is moving the board, shifting her weight, and adjusting to the flow of the water underneath her every split second – or else, she will fall. Shredding the gnar on the surfboard is a great illustration for dynamic balance in tension.

That analogy might seem a bit stressful to those who are not into extreme sports. So, there is another analogy that might fit even better – the analogy of creating HARMONY in the tension. HARMONY is the blend of pitch and tone that brings life to music. It dynamically adjust to the melody, note for note. Harmony can make us think of relaxing, soft music if that is how we are wired – are head-banging grunge rock – if that is how we are wired, and/or everywhere in between.

So harmony is a great analogy for the objective – the goal – of what we are trying to achieve in the God-Others-Self tension Jesus describes. Musical harmony is constantly adjusting to the melody, note for note, just as our God-Others-Self harmony must dynamically adjust to the moment by moment fluctuations in our lives.

Harmony is great analogy for another reason as well. All of us know that creating beautiful harmony – beautiful music – requires a great deal of practice. Even if you could get one particular song exactly, perfectly right, there are thousands – millions – of other songs that can be played, that need practice.

The creation and sustaining of harmony requires developing a habit of lifelong PRACTICE. As the melody changes from song to song, the musician has to practice new harmonies.  As the circumstances of our lives change, we also must adjust, and practice new harmonies in the God-Others-Self tension of life.

I believe this is what Jesus was getting at. There is no easy answer to memorize to get this right. The target is constantly moving, and it looks different for each and every one of us, in each and every moment in our lives. It requires intentional practice and development of harmony in the dynamic tension of God-Self-Others.

I have come to view most circumstances and issues in life as dynamic tensions that one must practice harmony in. Work-life, family-life, happiness, meaning, political ideologies, etc. I am beginning to solve problems by practicing harmony in tension, rather than looking for the simplistic easy way out. I do not believe most of life’s challenges have easy, predictable, static ways out that can be mastered.

Instead, I am beginning to find increasing success with a more fluid approach to all facets of life. Identifying the tensions and the harmonies, and developing habits of practice around each tension that intersect with my life. 

I’d like to share the best parenting decision my wife and I ever made. We have been married 25 years and have seven kids, four of our own, and three we adopted. Six of them are in college or recent college grads. Two are married – one grandkid on the way (yes!) We have been host to dozens of their friends over the years and have been involved in leading jr high, high school and college kids for some 14 years now. So, we have a lot of experience dealing with kids.

We have enough experience with kids growing into adulthood to see the full circle impact of some of the decisions we have made as parents (and not made), and that other parents have made – and not made. We are happy with many of our parenting decisions, and would do some things a little differently if we had it to do over again.

But one decision in particular stands out as being especially important. We made that decision, not because we knew it would end up being the best one we made, but because we felt it was the right thing to do. It was a difficult decision to make, and keeping that decision took a great deal of work and effort over almost two decades – and it continues to this day.

Some 20 years ago now, I started a men’s small group. I didn’t know any of the guys who signed up, and when they showed up for the first group, I noticed they were all about 10-15 years older than I was – and they all had kids that were 10 or more years older than mine. At first, I was a little bummed out about the age difference. It felt a little awkward and I didn’t feel like I had much in common with them.

Over the course of a couple years, my attitude changed. I became pretty close friends with those guys, and really respected their experience and wisdom. Towards the end of our time together, I asked them what their most important advice would be for parenting kids would be. They unanimously agreed on the following (paraphrase) –

“Your kids are little now. When they get into middle school, your influence on them will begin to lessen, as will their desire to listen to what you say. That trend will continue into high school, and by the time they get into college, you will have much less influence on them than so many other people. Over the course of 6-8 years, you will move from being the primary influence in their lives, to one of many, to one of the smaller influences in their lives – in terms of how the behave, what they feel is important and not important, the choices they make, etc.”

They went on to say, “Because this will happen, your best move is to make sure that your kids form friendships with some other adults besides you that can began building into their lives. These adults should be people who have the same beliefs and priorities you do, and who care about what you care about – and care about your kids. As your kids get older, the fact is, they will be much more likely to turn to other adults when they have issues, minor and serious, than to come to you. You may not like that, and may not believe it now, but it will happen. If you do not participate in the choosing of these adult influences, they will form anyway, through luck of the draw.”

That was some hard to hear stuff for me at that time. My kids were toddlers and preschoolers then. My wife and I were the absolute centers of their lives. My daughters wanted to marry me when they grew up. They would dance and sing when I came home from work. We didn’t really believe that there would ever come a time that we would no longer be the primary influences in their lives.

But, because I had so much trust and respect for these guys, we went ahead and followed their advice. We looked for opportunities to connect our kids with other adults whose beliefs were similar to ours, who really wanted to make a difference in our kids lives.

The first and easiest choice was the kid’s church and small groups at our church. We knew most of the parent helpers and knew they were good people – and they had a solid foundation for mentoring the kids. As our kids got older, this transitioned to the student ministries (STUCO for us). STUCO has weekly evening services for students, and then small groups which are led by a couple adults. Additionally, the various leaders and STUCO staff invest in the kids as well.

It wasn’t always easy getting our kids to go. We had to “force” them to go on many, many occasions. We had to force them to go to the first few group events like the camps and the retreats. We had to make sure they got their homework done early – or we had to help them do it late, after STUCO.

We even made the decision to coach many of our kids sports teams so that we had control of the schedules and could make sure STUCO night was free. We made some tough calls missing some practices, games, events, etc., outside of church. We weren’t completely inflexible, but, our kids knew that STUCO was the priority.

We made sure that our kids were getting music lessons from adults in the church. Most of our kids contributed musically for years, some still do. We took advantage of plays, acting, and dance when it was offered by leaders in our church, or people we trusted. Our kids were on stage quite a bit when they were younger, and I remember people asking us if we were proud to see our kids on stage. That part of it was OK – but our primary motivation was steering our kids towards friendships with other quality adults. The stage really was not even a consideration.

The truth is, every single one of our kids has been tremendously influenced by the adult relationships that have formed over the years – through the hard, intentional, ongoing efforts of me and my wife, and the blessing of God on our desires and efforts. The adult musicians, actors, small group leader, student ministry staff, and other adult leaders have contributed to deep character formation within our kids. That doesn’t mean they didn’t or won’t make mistakes, but they have a foundation, and role models that expand well beyond their parents – and our shortcomings.

There is a cost. It was difficult. It cost money. It cost time. There were tears of not wanting to practice, not wanting to sing, not wanting to go to church, fighting with other kids at the church, not liking the leaders, etc., etc. It was a long row to hoe at many points in the last 20 years – but it was by far the most important thing we have done for our kids – outside of loving them and doing the best we could to raise them as parents.

I forgot about another thing those guys from my small group said so many years ago. It was this, “Since you are going to be relying on other adults to step up and build into your kids, you should be willing to do the same. Step up, get involved in the lives of other kids, and be good influences on them and good friends to them.”

I am happy to say my wife and I have taken that advice as well. We have been intentionally investing in other kids for the last 20 years and hope to continue to do so for many more years to come. It has not always been easy – life is messy and there are always difficulties that come with the joy that comes from making a difference in people’s lives. In hindsight, we can honestly say we would do it all over again. In fact, taking that advice is what put us in a position to adopt the three kids that are now even a bigger part of our family than they were before we adopted them.

So that’s it. I would encourage you to count the cost of helping your kids develop some other adult friendships with people you trust and respect – and, I would encourage you to count the cost of not doing it. You will lose influence with your kids – whether you are even aware of it or not. Make sure they have other wise, adult counsel they can turn to when they get older. And, do the same for someone else’s kids!

The Success Onion

Summary

What is my definition of success? I have found that success comes in several layers, each layer relying on the previous layer to provide foundational strength and support. Success that is not built upon a strong foundation of inner layers is no real success at all. Like the house built on the sand, success built upon a weak foundation will crumble when the storms of life come – and they will come.

Layers

What is my definition of success? I want to be a good husband, good father. I want to be successful in business. I want to be influential in the lives of people – people close to me and far from me. I want to lift people out of poverty. I want to be filled with God’s Spirit and reflect his character and love. I want to be physically healthy. I want to climb Mt Rainier. I want to Mountain Bike in Europe. I want to be competitive playing sports for fun with my kids. My definition of success is deep and wide. It cannot be answered in one simple sentence.

• Primary Layer of Success – Be Yourself

What is my definition of success? I believe my primary calling is to be fully me. All of my unique DNA, if removed from each cell, uncoiled and stretched end-to-end, would be 80 billion miles long. I was created as a unique masterpiece. There has never been, and will never be another person like me.

I need to be fully me in every moment of my life to achieve authentic success. This requires holistic health. I need to be spiritually health. I need strong character. I need to be physically, mentally and emotionally healthy. The extent of my holistic health will determine the extent of my full presence in every moment of life. This is the base, deepest foundational layer of success upon which all other layers are built.

• Secondary Layer of Success – Relational

What is my definition of success? How often have we heard people bemoan that their quest for vocational success came at the expense of the people that mattered most to them: spouse, children, close friends, etc.? True vocational success has to be built upon a foundation of relational success. The Steve Jobs Movie is a great illustration of how terrible it can be if vocational success trumps relational success.

I want to build deep and satisfying relationships with my wife, my kids, my close friends, business partners, ministry partners, etc. A strong foundation here will enable me to achieve authentic vocational success.

• Third Layer of Success – Vocational

What is my definition of success? I want to invest my life in substantial causes that matter. I want to being my God-given talents and gifts to bear in a vocational endeavor that gets me out of bed early every morning. I want to be rewarded financially from my vocational success. I would like my vocational success to provide a platform of wide influence for me.

I understand in order to succeed authentically at this level, my private life needs to be strong – relationally and inwardly. If my vocational success is built upon a shallow, sandy foundation, it will crumble, and my vocational legacy will be reduced at best, or at worst – be completely destroyed.

• Fourth Layer of Success – Projects / Endeavors

What is my definition of success? I want to climb Mt Rainier. I want to be physically fit when I’m 80. I want to Mountain Bike through Europe. I want to build a nice stone patio in my backyard. I want to finish Birkie cross country ski race. I want to snowboard out West. I want to learn how to fly a plane. I want to write meaningful blog posts regularly. I would like to write a script for a movie. I want to write a book.

I have smaller, what I would call project level endeavors and goals. I may have one or more of these things going at the same time – in parallel with my vocation, relationship and personal leadership successes. These things provide the spice of life to me – extra incentives.

My Definition of Success

What is my definition of success? My definition of success cannot be fully articulated in a short sentence. It is tall, deep and wide. It is layered – multi-faceted, holistic and complete. It is internal and external, private and public. It is vocational and relational. It is about inner health and fun/exciting projects and endeavors. It is all of these things. When I put too much focus on one layer – one aspect – of success, I risk becoming unsuccessful across the board.
If pushed for a one sentence definition of success, I would have to say,

To be fully, completely and holistically ME, in every moment of my life.

But that is just scratching the surface of what my definition of success entails…