Calling Confusion

I am fortunate to spend a great deal of time with high school and college students, and in that context, the topic of calling comes up quite often. For those of you not familiar with the Christian-ese that word is referring to, the common definition of calling is the one thing that God has ordained that you do with your life. Despite the fact that if you do not find out what it is, your life will be wasted, God is normally not very clear about it. You typically have to embark on an exhausting quest to figure it out, and, will likely make several wrong turns before finding it.

 

Additionally, most high profile people have found their calling – TV stars, movie stars, senior pastors of large churches, doctors, lawyers, etc. It is common for most people to feel like they are among the only ones still suffering in the purgatory of not knowing their calling. Most everyone else already knows it, and is completely fulfilled almost every waking moment of their life. The good news is that once you find IT, you will enjoy whatever IT is, every day, day in and day out, with no regrets, and non-stop mountain-top experiences.

 

Of course, I am exaggerating a little, but you would be surprised at how many followers of Jesus have some or all of those notions burned into the heads. I will go on record now and state that I completely reject that definition of calling that I laid out above. Furthermore, I believe that definition has caused a great deal of damage, and has led many people on wild-goose chases, to episodes of guilty depression, to feeling miserable and unconnected or even forsaken by God.

 

Let’s get back to those high school and college kids. “Where does God want me to go to college?” “What does God want my major to be?” “What does God want me to do with my life?” There is so much angst, fear, regret, major-changing, college-changing, college-dropping-out, all sacrifices on the altar of “calling.”

 

I have met so many church-going adults who are just miserable since they have not found their true calling. How do they know they have not found it? First, because they do not like what they are currently doing with their lives. If they had found their calling, they would be happy with their daily activities most, if not all of the time. The fact that they have some miserable days, boring days, etc., is a clear indicator that they are not there yet.

 

Second, their current occupation does not sound very spiritual. For the more aspiring, and perhaps a little prideful follower of Jesus, the holy grail of callings is to hold a spotlight position in a spiritual context, like a large mega-church. Worship leader, musician, speaking/writing senior pastor, etc. If they were giving The Message to 100s or 1000s of people every week, if they were speaking at conferences and seminars, writing books, etc., then they would really be doing God’s work.

 

Those followers that have a less grandiose vision of themselves, may yearn to be a children’s pastor, small groups pastor, or to take on some behind the scenes type role at a church. Or, some see being in a job that helps people like a non-profit/outreach ministry, missionary, nurse, teacher, etc. to be a more spiritual calling than others.

 

Not only do people get very frustrated and depressed seeking their one true calling, but it can lead to resentment, envy and even all-out jealousy of those they perceive that have found their calling, love what they do, and are fulfilled and happy every day. God has clearly afflicted them in a calling-less fog, or worse yet, called them to an occupation that makes them a second or third-class citizen of the kingdom.

 

Of course, while the Church as a whole is somewhat to blame for this misguided notion of calling, I believe that most of the blame rests squarely on the shoulders of Curly from the movie City Slickers. His one thing speech has sent more people on misguided questions for their one true calling than any individual church pastor.

 

Fortunately, there is a better way to think about callings. Here goes: you do not have one calling, you have many callings, most of which, come and go at various times in your life. However, the most important callings are not abstract and elusive, they can and should be very well known to everyone following Jesus. The definition I have come up with after years of dealing with this issue consists of three “callings” defined in order of priority as follows:

 

• Primary (first) Calling – Love God with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself – every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day of your life.

• Secondary (second) Callings – These are non-vocational roles you may have, some for life, and others for a season. These may include parent, spouse, son or daughter, uncle/aunt, etc. These secondary priorities are always superseded by the primary, and always, and I mean always, take precedent of the last type of calling. These typically start and end at very specific times, in very formal ways.

• Tertiary (third) Callings – These are the last, least important, and lowest priority callings. These are vocationally related callings. If you are a student, they would be the school you go to, what you are studying, etc. If you are an adult, these would be your, current, primary occupation, hobbies, ministry associations, volunteer activities, etc. These callings can change quite a bit as you go through your life, sometimes on a regular basis, sometimes very often.

 

If you have spent much time in a church environment, you may quickly notice that the order I have presented is typically reversed from what you may hear from the stage at most churches, or, at least how the masses interpret what they hear from stage.

 

How many people do you know that have sacrificed their kid, their spouse, their families, etc., on the altar of tertiary (third) callings? And, for the most part, they feel justified in doing it; especially if it is a spiritually sounding vocation. How many followers of Jesus have you known that are just unfriendly, nasty, harsh, over-driven, etc? In their own defense they will say something to the effect of, “God hasn’t gifted me with niceness. He gifted me to be a hard-driving blah-blah-blah.” ”I haven’t been called to (fill in the blank with a seemingly unimportant, loving/compassionate type activity)” “I have been called to leadership, I have no time for (fill in the blank with a serving/humble activity)”

 

I know you have heard those things being said, and have maybe even said them yourself at times. The truth is, if you get the primary (first) calling right, and the secondary (second) calling(s) you have been blessed with right, the tertiary (third) callings, gulp, I almost hate to say it out loud, really don’t matter that much.

 

“What do you mean?!?! My pastor, or my doctor or this missionary – what they do for God is super important! They were called!” I would beg to differ. In fact, a pastor, doctor, teacher, singer, musician or missionary who doesn’t have the primary (first) and secondary (second) callings right, is doing more damage in their tertiary (third) callings than good; and, God may not really want them in any kind of relational position until they get the first two calling types right.

 

On the flip-side, if you are deeply in love with, and a close follower of Jesus, and you put the proper priority on your secondary (second) callings, you will naturally be attractive and will wield tremendous influence in the lives of those you are close to, regardless of what your 9-5 vocation, or your discretionary time activities of service, volunteerism and fun. You will be reflective of Jesus in whatever it is you are doing, and thereby, fulfilling your greatest calling.

So, stop worrying about where you are going to go to college, or sulking because you didn’t get a call-back after your recent audition for The Voice, even though you know God has called you to perform in front of millions. Seek first to love God with you whole being, and love everyone within your sphere of influence as much, or more than you love yourself. Secondly, be the best parent, spouse, son, daughter, uncle, aunt, neighbor, co-worker, team-mate, school-mate that you can possibly be. Serve, love, put their needs before your own. If you do that, whatever your current vocation is, WILL ALREADY BE one of your (tertiary/third) callings, because in whatever it is you are doing, you will be reflecting Jesus to those you come in contact with.