No he didn’t! Yes I did! A blog on sex! It’s been a long time in the coming. My oldest son gets married on March 28, so, the old man’s gotta impart some wisdom, why not do it publicly so everyone, everywhere can benefit?!?! The clock is ticking!
Seriously though, romantic love is super important – it plays a part in most everyone’s life. Of course, romantic love includes things besides sex itself. Non-sexual, physical touch, hand-holding, cuddling, snuggling, etc. Non-sexual, romantic love is super important, and I will dig into that more in later posts, but for right now the focus of this post will be sexual intimacy!
Additionally, this post will primarily represent the male perspective on sex. That is not to say that I will not try to represent both sides. I have 3 grown daughters and have been married 25 years myself, so I am capable of representing more of the female perspective than many are 🙂 Of course, within the male or female category, views on the importance and role of sexual intimacy can vary widely. It is an intensely personal topic and experience. This post is not meant to say that sex has to be anything, nothing or everything. Your personal perspective is valuable and important. I am simply sharing my thoughts and perspectives.
For some, sexual intimacy has been mostly a positive experience – for others it has come with some pain and maybe even deep emotional scars and wounding.
Followers of Jesus have left such a void when it comes to discussing the awesomeness of sex – and that void is being and will continue to be filled – usually with cheap, imitation, generic sexual intimacy knock-offs. That is why I am writing this. There is not enough positive talk coming out of the so-called “Christian camp” on this important topic; and, I am tired of that void being filled without considering the perspective of the inventor of sex.
God invented sex. God invented the org*sm (don’t want content filters to block this post!). God invented it. He designed it. He designed sexual intimacy, sexual pleasure, arousal, all of it. In fact, the best of what we have now is “Plan B” sex. The original design for sex and org*sms was probably much better in its perfected form than it is now – if you can believe that?!
Not only did God create sex, but he wants it to be awesome. God made sex to be a part of life for many of us. Jesus came so that we can have an abundant life. Sex is a part of life for many of us. So, for those of us whom sex is a legitimate part of our abundant living, Jesus came that we might have an abundant sex-life, and have it to the full! The NLT version says Jesus came to give us a rich and satisfying life – guess what? That includes a rich and satisfying sex life for us married folk. It’s true! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
God created the sexual intimacy between a man and woman to be a description – an illustration- of the love between Christ and the church.
As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. – Ephesians 5
Paul doesn’t mean anything weird or perverted by that. He is saying that, the depth of intimacy that is shared between a couple, madly in love, deeply committed to each other, experiencing sexual intimacy at it’s fullest – that depth of intimacy, relationship, love, vulnerability – is just a small foreshadowing – a small glimpse of the love and depth of connection that Jesus desires to have with each of us (the church – ecclesia – the people of God). Again, not in a weird way.
One of the most intimate connections we can experience as human beings is meant to give us a small glimpse of what God’s love is like. That is so awesome!!!
God wants this illustration to be experienced, experienced well, and experienced often. Of course, like anything else in life, a rich, meaningful, mutually satisfying sexual intimacy requires effort to achieve and maintain. It doesn’t just happen.
It also requires some rules and boundaries. Imagine a football game with absolutely no rules or boundaries. Or baseball, tennis, soccer, hockey – you name the sport. What if all of the players did whatever they wanted to do and there were no rules or boundaries? Sports would lose all of its fun and meaning. The rules and boundaries create the framework for the expression of the athlete and the joy of the experience. Sex is no different. Actually, everything in life is no different. A big chunk of the fun and enjoyment of anything comes with rules and boundaries.
This deepest expression of physical intimacy is meant to be an overflow of spiritual and emotional intimacy between two people – within a set of healthy rules and boundaries. Experts say the biggest sex organ in your body is your brain (despite what your husband may tell you). I would extend that to say – your heart / mind / soul is actually the biggest sex organ in your body – and the most important.
The union of physical, emotional, relational and spiritual intimacy, within the proper boundaries, creates a mind-blowing sexual intimacy that few get to experience – mostly because they forget, or have never learned about the non-physical aspects of intimacy; and/or, never fully understood or respected the well-designed boundaries.
If you have been married, 25 days or 25 years, you should be experiencing, mutually satisfying, mind-blowing sexual intimacy as often as you like – every day even – if that works for both of you.
Experiencing this level of intimacy between two people, living their daily lives in the real world, takes hard work. Like Tom Hanks says in A League of Their Own – it’s the hard that makes it great! – no pun intended! Great sex starts in the soul, the mind, the heart, the spirit and culminates in physical intimacy – on a playing field with well-defined rules and boundaries.
How might one accomplish this task you may ask? Well, tune it for future posts! One blog post is not going to cut. We’re not talking about re-post, or even a three-post. We are talking about a minimum 8-post on experiencing incredible sexual intimacy. Well, maybe not 8, but more than a couple! Yes!
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